These communication mistakes are honestly the reason half my relationships are in the graveyard right now, and I’m sitting here in my crappy Airbnb in Austin, Texas, eating cold Whataburger at 2 a.m. while the neighbor’s dog barks like it’s personally offended by my existence. I swear the smell of spilled Dr Pepper and regret is just part of the vibe tonight.
Why I’m Even Qualified to Talk About Communication Mistakes (Spoiler: I’m Not)
Look, I’m the girl who once told her boyfriend “I’m fine” while crying in the Taco Bell drive-thru because he forgot to text me back for four hours. Yeah. That level of emotionally-constipated chaos. So when I say these seven communication mistakes will quietly torch everything you love, trust me, I’ve got receipts.
1. The “I’m Fine” Nuclear Bomb
I mastered this one. Like, Olympic-level “I’m fine” while literally seething. My ex would ask what’s wrong and I’d hit him with the classic smile-through-tears “nothing babe I’m just tired” while mentally writing his eulogy. Pro tip from current me eating spicy ketchup straight from the packet: just say the damn thing. It feels like swallowing glass at first, but it’s better than the slow bleed.
2. Assuming They Can Read My Damn Mind
I used to do this thing where I’d drop microscopic hints and then get furious when he didn’t pick up on them. Bro, I once got mad because he didn’t realize I wanted him to offer to come with me to my cousin’s gender reveal (which I hated and never actually invited him to). Wild. Communication mistakes like this one are honestly just ego disguised as intuition.
3. The Scorekeeping Olympics
Oh my God, I was the undisputed champion. “You did this in 2022 so now I get to be petty about dishes for the next six months.” Exhausting. Nobody wins. The relationship just slowly drowns in resentment points.
4. Defensiveness on Steroids
Every time he tried to bring something up I’d immediately flip it back: “Well YOU never empty the lint trap!” Classic deflection. I’d rather burn the house down than admit I forgot to buy toilet paper again. Growth is admitting I was a defensive gremlin.
5. The Silent Treatment Torture Edition
Three days of silence because he said my friend’s boyfriend was “kinda mid.” Three. Whole. Days. I’d walk around the apartment like a moody Victorian ghost while he tried to figure out what fresh hell he’d stumbled into. Worst communication mistake in my arsenal, hands down.
6. Using “Always” and “Never” Like Weapons
“You NEVER listen to me.” “You ALWAYS do this.” Lies. Dramatic, weaponized lies that make the other person shut down instantly. I still cringe remembering the time I screamed “you never care” while he was literally holding soup I didn’t even ask for because I’d mentioned feeling sick on Snapchat. Yikes.
7. Avoiding the Hard Convos Until It’s Terminal
I’d let stuff fester for months—like literally months—until one day I’d explode about something tiny and unload three years of unspoken garbage. By then it’s too late. The damage is done. The relationship flatlines while I’m still mid-sentence.
So… What Now?
I’m still a messy work-in-progress (case in point: I just texted an ex “you up?” at 2:47 a.m. last week—don’t judge me), but I’m trying. Like actually trying. Saying the scary thing out loud. Asking for what I need instead of doing emotional gymnastics. It’s awkward as hell and half the time I still sound like a toddler having a meltdown, but it’s better than watching another good thing die because I refused to use my words.
If any of this hit way too close to home, do me (and your relationship) a solid—pick one of these communication mistakes you’re guilty of and just… stop doing it this week. Text them the ugly truth. Say “I feel” instead of “you always.” Whatever. Just don’t be me circa 2023 crying in an Uber because I never learned how to say “this hurts” without setting everything on fire.
You got this. Or we’ll both be single forever eating gas-station taquitos. Either way, I’m rooting for us.
Drop your worst communication mistake in the comments so I don’t feel like the only disaster here. Seriously. Misery loves company. ❤️
