virtual dates fun literally saved my dating life and i’m still not sure if that’s pathetic or iconic. i’m writing this at 1:17 am in new jersey, there’s a half-empty bottle of trader joe’s pinot grigio breathing on my nightstand, my left sock has a hole in it, and my cat just knocked over a candle. classic tuesday.
so like three months ago i matched with this guy in seattle (yes, seattle dave, yes that’s his real nickname now) who has the kind of voice that makes my brain short-circuit. obviously flying 3000 miles for coffee is unhinged, so we did the zoom thing. first virtual date i answered wearing pajama shorts and a sports bra because “he can’t see below the desk.” spoiler: i stood up to grab chips. he 100% saw my thong with the little pineapples on it. mortifying. 10/10 would do again.
why i’m lowkey obsessed with virtual dates fun right now
gas is $5.47 where i am, ubers hate me, and every bar smells like ipa and broken dreams. meanwhile i can put on fake lashes, keep the sweatpants, and “go” to paris with someone?? revolutionary.
- i can mute myself when i’m chewing too loud
- my cat can be the third wheel and it’s adorable instead of creepy
- if it sucks i just blame “lag” and vanish
- i control the ring light so my face looks 27 instead of 34
the virtual dates fun ideas that actually worked (and one that almost ended us)
the gordon ramsay beef wellington massacre
we both tried this recipe from BBC Good Food. 45 minutes later my kitchen looked like a murder scene, dave’s pastry turned into sad soup, we were crying laughing. still the best date of 2024. https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/beef-wellington
VRChat but we picked the ugliest avatars on purpose
i was a dancing toaster. he was knockoff knuckles. we got attacked by digital seagulls on a virtual beach at 3 am. i snorted so loud my mic peaked. romance peaked too.
netflix & crying in sync
watched tick tick boom (again) with teleparty, lit 19 candles, held our phones up so we could see each other ugly-cry at the pool scene. stupidly intimate. here’s the 36 questions we did later that absolutely wrecked me: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/36-questions-that-make-strangers-fall-in-love.html
the one that almost ended us: virtual escape room
we fought over a digital key for 47 minutes straight. he called me “babe” in frustration. i muted him and stress-ate an entire bag of flamin hot cheetos. we’re still together somehow. therapy is expensive.
tips from someone who has definitely spilled wine on her macbook during a date
- top half cute, bottom half whatever. just don’t stand up. learned that the hard way
- keep props nearby. i have a tiny disco ball and it’s a vibe changer
- order the exact same uber eats so you’re “eating together.” it’s dumb and it works
- play jackbox or codenames, anything that makes you stare at each other awkwardly
- if you’re brave do the 36 questions. i did. i’m still emotionally hungover
yeah i caught feelings over glitchy sunsets, fight me
real talk: virtual dates fun made me try harder because there was no physical distraction. just two idiots talking till sunrise about our childhood traumas while our webcams froze mid-sentence. it’s weirdly pure??
is it the same as smelling someone’s cologne irl? obviously not. but right now, in my chaotic little life, virtual dates fun is the most romantic thing i’ve got.
so put on lip gloss, charge the headset, order the matching dessert, and embrace the glitch. worst case you get a story. best case you fall for someone while you’re both wearing avocado face masks at 2am on a wednesday.
been there. still there. zero regrets.
what’s the most unhinged virtual date you’ve done?? tell me in the comments i need new material
p.s. subscribe or whatever i guess, i’ll be here eating cold sesame noodles and overthinking my entire existence with you 💕
wait did i spell sesame wrong up there?? whatever i’m not fixing it
