why some people fear happiness hits me square in the chest every time life stops sucking for five minutes. i’m typing this from my couch in bushwick, december 2025, fairy lights blinking like they want rent money, hoodie on day four because adulting lost. last week i finally landed the gig i begged the universe for, my mom sent a rare “i’m proud” text, and my ex quit blowing up my phone. normal humans celebrate. i curled into a ball and waited for the meteor.
wait people actually study this?? i thought i just sucked
turns out scientists gave it a name: cherophobia. straight-up fear of joy. Why Some People Fear Happiness i stumbled across the term at 3 a.m. with taco breath and almost yeeted my phone across the room because who gave psychology permission to drag me like this.
- childhood taught me good moments always explode
- i treat happiness like a jump-scare in a horror movie
- researchers literally found some of us feel more anxiety about positive emotions than negative ones because pain feels like home (rude but i felt that)
real links so google doesn’t hate me:
- https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797614531023 (the actual study that made me whisper “stop attacking me”)
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202001/cherophobia-when-you-literally-fear-happiness (psychology today being annoyingly spot-on)
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10336804/ (newer 2023 paper on fear of happiness across cultures because apparently the whole planet relates)
the time i ghosted perfection because my brain said “too happy = danger”
october. i met a guy who made me laugh until my ribs hurt, Why Some People Fear Happiness paid his taxes, and remembered oat milk. we walked the brooklyn bridge at sunset (cringe, i know) and he said something disgustingly sweet. my chest floated. immediate red alert. brain screamed “HE’LL DESTROY YOU” so i faked explosive diarrhea and vanished for five days. i ate thin mints in the bathtub while googling “can happiness kill you” like a rational adult.
stuff i’m trying so i stop torching every good thing
still trash at it but whatever:
- i now yell at my brain out loud “this is cherophobia not a prophecy chill”
- i celebrate tiny: bought fancy oat milk instead of throwing a parade
- therapy. i cry every session when my therapist says i deserve good things. who allowed her
- reading this book that’s honestly wrecking me in the best way → https://www.amazon.com/Fear-Happiness-Understanding-Cherophobia-Overcoming/dp/0063218317 (not sponsored i just dog-ear every page)
yeah i still don’t know how to end posts
my christmas tree glows behind me right now and i only spiraled once today so i’m calling that a win. happiness still feels borrowed and i keep waiting for the repo man but maybe i’ll keep it a little longer this time.
if you also bolt when life gets good, drop your most chaotic self-sabotage story below. misery loves company and i brought snacks.
