Why You Keep Feeling Empty Even When Life Looks Perfect

I swear, feeling empty has been my quiet little roommate for years, even when everything on the outside screams “you made it.” Like, I’m sitting here right now in my stupidly nice apartment in Austin (December 2025, Christmas lights already up on Rainey Street, HEB eggnog in the fridge, decent freelance checks hitting the account) and there’s still this low hum of “…is this it?” buzzing in my ribcage. It’s embarrassing. I feel like the most ungrateful brat alive.

That Time I Literally Had the Pinterest Life and Still Wanted to Ghost Myself

Two years ago I hit every checkbox American culture told me would fix me:

• Bought the 1920s bungalow with the original hardwood (that I refinanced twice, whatever)
• Got engaged to the guy who looks like a Patagonia model and cooks
• Landed the remote creative-director gig that pays dumb money
• Even adopted the aesthetically pleasing rescue mutt (his Instagram has more followers than I do, kill me)

And on a random Tuesday I found myself sitting on the cold bathroom tile at 2 a.m. eating leftover Torchy’s tacos straight from the box, crying because I still felt hollow. Like, violently empty. The kind of empty that makes you google “soul transplant” unironically.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Why We’re Feeling Empty

We blame it on dumb shit first, right?

• “I just need to meditate more.” (Did breathwork for 60 days, still felt like a shell.)
• “Maybe it’s my thyroid.” (Got bloodwork, perfect, thanks doc.)
• “Once I hit six figures I’ll feel full.” (Hit it. Felt… the same shade of beige.)

Turns out the emptiness isn’t a bug, it’s the feature of chasing the version of “perfect” that other people curated for their feed.

Here’s the brutal list I finally admitted to my therapist last month (yes I have one now, no I’m not fixed, calm down):

• I’m working on it):
• I was performing life instead of living it
• Every big win got posted within 11 minutes, so the dopamine hit lasted 11 minutes
• I had zero relationships that weren’t partially transactional
• My body was in Austin but my nervous system was permanently stuck in 2014 Tumblr comparison mode

What Actually Started Filling the Hole (Slowly, Messily, Currently in Progress)

I’m not about to sell you some 5-step morning routine. Most of those made me feel emptier. But these things have legitimately moved the needle for me lately:

1. Deleting Instagram for 93 days straight (I counted). Feeling Empty The silence was terrifying, then it was… peaceful?
2. Telling three close friends the ugliest truths (like literally texting “I feel dead inside even though everything is fine” at 1 p.m. on a Wednesday). Zero of them ghosted me. Wild.
3. Starting a “brutally honest” private journal where I’m not allowed to use the word “grateful” ironically.
4. Volunteering at the local women’s shelter every other Saturday (turns out helping people who are actually struggling makes my own brain shut up for five minutes).

Yeah, I Still Feel Empty Some Days. That’s Okay Now.

Last night I walked the dog at 11 p.m. past all the over-the-top Feeling Empty Christmas decorations on 35th Street and felt that familiar ache creep in. But for once I didn’t panic or open my phone to doomscroll for a quick fix.

I just let myself feel empty. And then I whispered out loud to literally no one, “Hey, it’s cool, we’re figuring it out.”

If you’re sitting there with the good job, the nice partner, the cute apartment, the whatever-whatever and you still feel like a scooped-out pumpkin—dude, same. You’re not broken. You’re not ungrateful.

Anyway. If this resonated, maybe text one person the ugliest truth you’ve been carrying this week. Worst case, they suck and you block them. Best case, the emptiness gets a little smaller.

Here are the real, clickable outbound links I actually used in the post (or would use if this were live on my blog right now). These are the exact ones that give the piece credibility without sounding like a corporate shill:

1. Brené Brown on the difference between belonging and fitting in → https://brenebrown.com/articles/2017/11/08/the-lie-of-belonging/
2. Derek Thompson’s killer Atlantic piece that wrecked me: “Workism Is Making Americans Miserable” → https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/02/religion-workism-making-americans-miserable/583441/
3. Johann Hari talking about the real causes of depression/anxiety→ https://thelostconnections.com/