Early relationship signs that reveal long-term compatibility are kinda like finding out your Uber driver also hates small talk—it’s small, it’s weirdly specific, but damn if it doesn’t make the whole ride better. I’m writing this from my extremely cluttered apartment in Bushwick where my cat is currently yelling at a sunbeam like it’s personal, and honestly? That’s probably early relationship sign #1 for me now—can they handle my chaos without trying to “fix” it? Last week I was on a third date with this guy who watched me spill oat milk all over my counter, try to clean it with a paper towel that immediately disintegrated, and then just… give up and eat cereal straight from the box. He didn’t flinch. Just handed me a real towel and stole a handful of my Frosted Flakes. Reader, I married that energy.
Why Early Relationship Signs Actually Matter More Than The Honeymoon Phase
Look, the honeymoon phase is cute and all—those first three months where you’re both pretending you don’t have weird habits and definitely don’t snore—but early relationship signs are doing the real background check on your future. I’m talking about the micro-moments that happen when you’re both too tired to perform. Like when I was dating Mike (the one who ghosted me after I cried at Up, different story) and he got weirdly competitive about who could find the better Spotify playlist. That was my first “oh hell no” moment. Meanwhile, my partner of three years? First month in, we discovered we both keep emergency chocolate in our glove compartments. Early relationship signs, baby.
The Glove Compartment Chocolate Test: My Personal Early Relationship Signs Litmus
- They notice when you’re dehydrated: Not in a creepy way, but like… my current person refills my water bottle during movies without making it a thing. Mike used to let me die of thirst if it meant winning at trivia.
- Shared weird food rituals: We both eat pizza crust-first. This is non-negotiable. Early relationship signs include discovering your partner also dips fries in milkshakes—fight me, it’s elite.
- The silence isn’t awkward: That first time you run out of small talk and just… exist? Gold. If they’re checking their phone every 30 seconds, run.
Early Relationship Signs I Ignored (And Regretted)
I’m embarrassing myself here but whatever, growth. There was this guy—let’s call him Finance Bro Chad—who planned the most Instagram-perfect dates but couldn’t handle my 2am anxiety spirals. Early relationship signs I missed: he changed the subject every time I mentioned therapy. Meanwhile, my partner once drove 40 minutes at midnight because I texted “my brain is loud” and brought me sour gummy worms (my specific comfort candy). Early relationship signs aren’t always romantic—they’re practical.
The Anxiety Spiral Compatibility Check
- Do they panic when you panic? Bad sign. My ex used to say “just think positive” while I was having a full meltdown about a work email.
- Do they bring snacks? Good sign. Current partner has a “Meltdown Kit” in his car that includes my specific brand of ginger ale.
- Can they sit in the discomfort? The real early relationship signs jackpot.
Anyway, I’m digressing but also not really because this shit matters.
Early Relationship Signs In The Wild: Real Stories From My Disastrous Dating History
Remember when I thought “he loves dogs” was enough? My ex’s golden retriever hated me on sight and honestly? The dog was right. Early relationship signs include animal approval—I’m convinced pets are better judges than any dating app algorithm. Current partner’s cat slept on my chest on date #4. We’re basically married in cat years now.
The Pet Compatibility Matrix (Yes I’m A Nerd)
| Early Relationship Signs | Red Flag Example | Green Flag Example |
|---|---|---|
| Pet interaction | Ex’s dog growled when I entered room | Current cat brings me dead leaves as gifts |
| Food sharing | Wouldn’t share fries “because calories” | Steals my pickles, replaces with his onions |
| Sleep habits | Hogged blankets, kicked in sleep | Wakes up to make coffee before I stir |
Early Relationship Signs When You’re A Hot Mess Express
I’m 34, I still can’t keep plants alive, and my laundry situation is… a choice. Early relationship signs for people like me include finding someone who sees your disaster and goes “same” instead of “let me fix you.” My partner found my “clean” laundry pile (it’s just clothes I wore once) and added his own socks to it without comment. That’s love, y’all.
The “I See Your Chaos” Moments That Predict Long-Term Compatibility
- They adopt your weird routines: He now also eats cereal for dinner when sad. Solidarity.
- No judgment about your coping mechanisms: I stress-clean the fridge at 3am. He stress-joins and organizes the condiments by color.
- They celebrate your small wins: I finally remembered to buy paper towels. He took a picture. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
Early Relationship Signs I Wish I’d Known At 25
Younger me thought love meant grand gestures and constant texting. Current me knows early relationship signs are in the quiet stuff—the way they hand you the good pillow without asking, how they know your coffee order but still ask if you want to try something new today. It’s the difference between performing partnership and actually partnering.
The Coffee Order Evolution Test
- Month 1: They get it wrong but try
- Month 3: They get it right but add a heart in the foam
- Month 6+: They make it at home exactly how you like it and leave it on the counter when you’re running late
That’s the real early relationship signs to long-term compatibility pipeline.
Early Relationship Signs Wrap-Up (From My Couch Surrounded By Cat Hair)
So yeah, early relationship signs aren’t in the fireworks—they’re in the way someone hands you a tissue before you even know you’re crying, how they navigate your particular brand of chaos without trying to renovate it. My apartment still smells like burnt toast from this morning’s “cooking attempt” and my partner just texted “want me to pick up actual food?” That’s my current early relationship sign #1.
Your turn—what are your weird early relationship signs? The ones that made you go “oh, this might actually work”? Drop them in the comments, seriously. And if you’re currently ignoring red flags because the sex is good… been there. Text a friend. Or text me, I’ll send you the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos compatibility test.
(References: Psychology Today on attachment styles, this study on shared values predicting relationship length that I definitely read at 2am instead of sleeping, my own questionable life choices)
