Jealousy Hit Me Again Last Thursday and I Hate That I Noticed
Jealousy is honestly the most annoying emotion I still let live rent-free in my head at thirty-mumble years old. Like, I’m sitting on my sagging IKEA couch in Alexandria, Virginia, eating cold leftover Thai food straight from the container, and bam—scrolling Instagram and suddenly I want to yeet my phone because some girl I knew in college is in freaking Santorini living her best life. The spicy basil chicken tasted like ash for a solid ten minutes. That’s jealousy doing its little victory lap.
The Time I Almost Ruined a Friendship Over Petty Jealousy (Yup, Still Cringing)
Okay, real talk—two years ago my best friend from high school got engaged. Cool, great, love that for her… except I spent three entire days feeling like someone punched me in the soul because why wasn’t it me yet? I didn’t say anything out loud (thank god), but I was short with her texts, “liked” her ring pic without commenting, the whole passive-aggressive playbook. Feeling jealous made me act like a literal teenager and I’m still low-key mortified.
Envy vs Jealousy—Yeah, I Googled the Difference at 2 A.M. Too
People love throwing around “it’s just envy” like that makes it cute. Nah. Envy is “I want what you have.” Jealousy is “I want what you have and I secretly hope you drop it and it breaks.” That second one? That’s the demon that wakes me up sweating in my too-warm apartment with the broken AC. Toxic jealousy is real and it’s ugly and I’ve absolutely been that person.
Little Ways Jealous Feelings Sneak Up When You’re Not Looking
- When your coworker gets the praise you were busting your ass for
- When your little cousin who’s literally twelve has better skin than you ever will
- When someone’s dog gets more likes than your entire existence
What Actually Helped (When I Finally Stopped Lying to Myself)
I started doing this dumb thing where the second I feel that hot twist in my chest, I say out loud: “There it is, the jealousy monster, hello old friend.” Naming it instantly makes it lose like 30% of its power. Also unfollowing half my feed during a 3 a.m. doomscroll was… chef’s kiss. My therapist says it’s “boundary setting.” I call it “stop torturing myself for fun.”
The Embarrassing Part I’m Only Admitting Because It’s My Blog
Last month I got jealous of my own boyfriend because his new gaming setup is nicer than anything I own. Like, ma’am? Get a grip. We laughed about it later (after I sulked for an entire evening), but seriously—jealousy doesn’t even respect logic or who’s actually on your team.
So… Now What?
Look, I’m never gonna be the girl who’s fully “cured” of jealous feelings. That’s like saying I’m cured of wanting tacos at 1 a.m. But I’m learning to catch it faster, laugh at how ridiculous it is, and then do something that’s actually for ME instead of stewing. Sometimes that’s texting the person a genuine congrats (takes effort, feels good after). Sometimes it’s closing the app and going to touch grass. Both work.
If jealousy is currently eating you alive too—first, same. Second, you’re not a terrible person. You’re just human with Wi-Fi and too much access to everyone else’s highlight reel.
Drop your most embarrassing jealousy moment in the comments. Misery loves company, and honestly? I could use the laugh.
(And if you related to any of this chaos, share it with the one friend you secretly compare yourself to. Maybe it’ll start an actually good conversation.)
External resources that helped me not completely lose it:
