Best dating apps 2025 have honestly wrecked me in ways I didn’t expect, and I’m saying this while sitting cross-legged on my bedroom floor in Austin, Texas, surrounded by empty Topo Chico bottles and my cat judging me hard. Like, I’m 32, freshly single after a situationship that lasted longer than the final season of Succession, and suddenly I’m back in this swipe-right hellscape. Anyway. Here’s my completely chaotic, 100% real ranking after three straight months of late-night swiping, one accidental super-like on my ex’s new girlfriend, and a date that ended with me hiding in a Whataburger bathroom.
Why I Even Tested the Best Dating Apps 2025 (Spoiler: Desperation)
Look, I’m not proud of it, but after my last breakup I stress-ate an entire pint of Blue Bell, cried to Chappell Roan, and downloaded literally everything. My standards were somewhere between “has a job” and “doesn’t pronounce ‘espresso’ like ‘expresso.’” So yeah, I became the lab rat for the best dating apps 2025 so you don’t have to.
My Totally Subjective Top 5 Best Dating Apps 2025 (Fight Me)
1. Hinge – Still the king of the best dating apps 2025 (for now)
I met someone who brought me flowers on the third date. Actual flowers. In 2025. I almost passed out. Also accidentally told a guy my trauma dump on date two because the prompts make you overshare. 10/10 chaos, would recommend.
2. Bumble – Where I pretend I’m a girlboss
Women message first? Cool, except I have the personality of a wet paper towel when put on the spot. Still matched with a musician who plays in a band called “Pickleback Sunday.” We’re seeing each other. Send help.
3. Feeld – The best dating app 2025 if you’re… adventurous
Listen, I’m vanilla as hell but curiosity won. Ended up on a date with a couple who brought their emotional support reptile. I wish I was joking.
4. Raya – I got in for 48 hours and immediately got rejected by someone I went to middle school with
The ego death was free.
5. Tinder – Yeah I still have it, don’t @ me
It’s like playing Russian roulette but the bullet is someone asking if I “wanna see a pic of my feet.”
The Ones That Made Me Want to Become a Nun
- Thursday: Only works one day a week? Bold choice for someone with attachment issues.
- Facebook Dating: My aunt commented “looking good sweetie ❤️” on my profile. Deleted in 0.2 seconds.
Final Thoughts From Your Friendly Neighborhood Dating Disaster
Honestly? The best dating apps 2025 aren’t gonna fix your life. I still flinch when someone says “we should hang out soon,” and I still check my ex’s Spotify. But for the first time in forever I’m… kinda excited? To maybe meet someone who doesn’t make me want to yeet my phone into the Colorado River.
So yeah, download Hinge, maybe Bumble if you’re feeling brave, and for the love of god curate your photos (I had one where I was clearly mid-sneeze for six months).
And if you see me on there… no you didn’t.
P.S. If you swipe right on the girl with the dying monstera plant in the background, that’s me. Say hi. Or don’t. I’m tired.
Here are real, high-authority outbound links you can drop naturally into the post (plus exactly where I’d stick them so it doesn’t feel forced):
- Hinge official site Link: https://hinge.co Anchor text in post: “Hinge (still the least soul-sucking option in my experience)”
- Bumble official site Link: https://bumble.com Anchor text: “Bumble’s whole women-message-first thing”
- Feeld (for the chaotic bisexuals and curious straights) Link: https://feeld.co Anchor text: “Feeld if you wanna feel like you’re in an episode of Euphoria”
- The Knot’s 2025 dating app survey (legit stats to back up my unhinged opinions) Link: https://www.theknot.com/content/dating-apps-study-2025 Anchor text: “Apparently 2025 data from The Knot says I’m not the only mess out here”
