how to know if someone is truly interested or just bored literally keeps me awake at 3 a.m. while i shovel shredded cheese straight into my mouth like a raccoon. right now i’m sitting in my freezing columbus ohio apartment, december 2025, ice crystals on the inside of my window because my landlord sucks, and i’m wearing the same crusty hoodie for the fourth day in a row. sexy, i know.
the “u up” chronicles (my villain origin story)
if they only text you after the bars close or when netflix judges them with “are you still watching,” they’re bored. logan taught me that lesson last year. dude smelled like cedar and bad choices, ignored me all week, then slid in at 1:37 a.m. with “wyd beautiful.” 23-year-old me melted. 29-year-old me wants to roundhouse kick her own ass.
people who actually like you send you dumb memes at 4 p.m. on a sunday because a cloud looked like a brontosaurus. that’s the good stuff.
the effort thing (i finally believe it)
i used to scoff at “if he wanted to, he would.” then noah drove through a blizzard with wonton soup when covid knocked me out, while logan couldn’t even spell my name right (saved me as “kaitlin with a k” for six months). the math ain’t hard.
people who want you:
- pick the bell peppers off your pizza without you asking
- send tiktoks at lunch, not just thirst traps at 2 a.m.
- remember how your big presentation went
- lock in actual plans with a day and time
people who’re just bored:
- hit you with “if you’re free”
- ghost the second you stop clowning for them
- probably text their mom more than you
psychology today breaks this down way better than i ever could → https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/202110/5-signs-they-really-are-that-you
the “randomly thought of you” scam
nothing makes me want to scream into a pillow more than nine days of silence followed by “randomly thought of you.” bro if the thought was that strong why did your fingers wait nine days to move??
matthew hussey calls this breadcrumbing and the first time i heard it i actually paused ben & jerry’s to ugly-cry → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yYlsO9UrWk
current clownery update
new guy since halloween. funny, employed, all his original teeth — checks every box. i suggest drinks, he hits me with “work’s insane rn” yet this man watches my stories faster than usain bolt. so tell me why i’m still trying to decode this like it’s the da vinci code??
the nuclear option (try it, it works)
stop texting first for seven days. i know, i know — you have 38 unsent novels in your notes app that deserve a pulitzer. delete them. the ones who actually like you start double-text and act unwise. the bored ones just swipe right on someone new.
science even backs this up (i only read the abstract but still) → https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167219829185
