Lose interest in sex? Yeah, me too, hard. Like, full-on “I’d rather doom-scroll TikTok in fetal position than let anyone touch me” levels of losing interest in sex. I’m sitting here in my extremely average apartment in suburban Denver right now, December 2025, snowing outside, wearing the same hoodie I’ve had since 2021, eating cold leftover pizza, and I can finally laugh about how dead my libido was for a fat minute.
Why I Personally Lost Interest in Sex (And Why It Felt Like Dying a Little)
Real talk: it didn’t happen overnight. It was death by a thousand tiny cuts.
- Birth control switch that turned me into an emotional zombie
- Working 60-hour weeks at a soul-sucking marketing job
- My then-boyfriend’s idea of foreplay was asking “you good?” while already halfway undressed
- SSRIs that made orgasm feel like chasing a ghost
- And, uh, gaining 40 lbs during the pandemic and suddenly hating mirrors became enemy territory
I remember one night he tried to initiate and I literally pretended to be asleep so convincingly I actually fell asleep. That’s next-level lose interest in sex energy.
The Moment I Realized I Had to Fix My Low Libido or Lose My Damn Mind
It was last Valentine’s Day (cringe, I know). Dude went all out: roses, steak dinner, that expensive lingerie that makes your butt look like two planets colliding. And I just… felt nothing. Not even guilty nothing, just flatline. I laid there staring at the ceiling fan thinking “I’m thirty-f***ing-three, this can’t be it.” That’s when I decided I was gonna figure out how to not lose interest in sex forever, because dying celibate in the suburbs sounded tragic.
What Actually Helped Me Get My Sex Drive Back (No Bullshit Edition)
Here’s the messy, non-Instagram version:
- Dumped the SSRI that was cockblocking me (with doctor supervision, calm down)
- Started testosterone cream, yes I’m that bitch now. 0.5 ml on the inner thigh every night and suddenly I notice shoulders again?? Wild.
- Therapy, but the kind where I actually talked about sex instead of just crying about my mom
- Scheduled sex like a psychopath. Literally put “bone sesh” in the Google calendar. It felt ridiculous… until it started working.
- Solo exploration with zero shame, bought toys that look like modern art and finally learned what I actually like instead of faking it for ten years
- Stopped drinking like a frat boy. Two glasses of wine max or I turn into a sleepy potato
The Weirdest Thing That Reignited Everything? Fighting.
No joke. My current partner and I will have a stupid argument about whose turn it is to take out the trash and suddenly we’re hate-making-up against the fridge. Anger → adrenaline → arousal is apparently my love language now. America really did a number on me.
Things That Did NOT Fix My Low Sex Drive (So You Don’t Waste Your Money)
- Aphrodisiac chocolates (taste like chalk and broken dreams)
- That $300 jade egg Goop tried to sell us
- “Just relax” (if I hear this again I’ll scream)
- Couples tantra retreat (we lasted 20 minutes before sneaking out to get Taco Bell)
Final Thoughts From Your Very Flawed Friend
I still lose interest in sex sometimes. Like last week I was a total drought because Mercury retrograde or whatever. But now I know it’s not permanent, and that’s everything. Your libido isn’t dead, it’s just buried under American capitalism, trauma, and probably birth control. Dig it out. Slowly. Messily. With lots of lube and self-compassion.
Anyway, if you’re sitting there in your own hoodie cocoon wondering if you’ll ever want to bang again, I see you. You’re not broken. You just need better hormones, better boundaries, and probably better sex than you’ve been having.
Now go touch yourself or text your partner something filthy. Doctor’s orders.
(References if you want the science:
