Controversial dating opinions are literally the only thing keeping me sane while I sit here in my Brooklyn apartment at 1:47 a.m. eating leftover sesame noodles straight from the carton, because yeah, that’s where we’re at in 2025.
I’m just gonna say the stuff everyone thinks but is too scared to post, alright?
Why “Situationships” Are Secretly the Healthiest Option (Fight Me)
Look, I spent half of 2024 trying to force labels on dudes who couldn’t even text back before 9 p.m. And you know what I learned? The second you call it “exclusive,” someone immediately catches feelings for their yoga instructor.
Situationships let you keep one foot out the door while still getting cuddles and decent sex. It’s emotional birth control. I had this one guy—let’s call him Finance Bro Chad—who would Venmo request me $9 for half an iced oat latte but also fly me to Miami for a long weekend. Zero labels, zero expectations, zero mental breakdown when he ghosted in March. Honestly? 10/10, would ambiguously date again.
Height Requirements Are Valid and I Will Die on This Hill
I’m 5’2″. If I say I want a guy over 5’10”, that’s not “heightism,” that’s physics. I want to wear my dumb little platform Doc Martens and still feel small sometimes, sue me.
Last month I went out with a guy who said he was 5’9″. Showed up and we were eye-to-eye in barefoot. I literally felt my ancestors judging me. We split the check and I blocked him before the Uber even pulled away. Shallow? Maybe. But I contain multitudes.
Paying on the First Date Isn’t Feminist, It’s Just Annoying
I make my own money. I also think watching a man willingly drop $180 on overpriced cocktails he didn’t even want is…kind of hot? Like yes king, provide while I judge your Spotify wrapped.
One time I insisted on splitting and the guy literally said “cool cool” and then Venmo requested me $42.73 at 2 a.m. Never again. These controversial dating opinions include: let men pay and feel useful 2025.
Ghosting Is Self-Care
I used to send the whole paragraphs like “Hey, I had a nice time but I don’t think we’re compatible long-term…” Now? If I’m not excited to see your name pop up, I’m just…not answering.
My therapist calls it “avoidant attachment.” I call it preserving my extremely limited emotional bandwidth. We’re in a cost-of-living crisis, Sarah, I can’t afford closure.
The Real Red Flag Is Calling Them “Red Flags”
If your Hinge prompt answer is “my red flags are…” just know I’m already swiping left. You’re not self-aware, you’re performing trauma for attention.
Also if you say “I’m fluent in sarcasm” we’re done.
Final Unhinged Controversial Dating Opinion: We Should Bring Back Cheating (But Ethically)
Hear me out. Monogamy is a social construct invented by people who didn’t have iPhones. Maybe if we all just admitted we’re gonna develop crushes on our hot coworkers anyway, we could schedule it like SoulCycle.
Kidding. (Mostly.) But seriously, why are we still pretending humans are wired for forever when the average situationship lasts 6-8 weeks?
Anyway, I’m gonna go doomscroll TikTok couples until I hate myself more. Drop your most controversial dating opinions below so we can all feel less insane together. Or tell me I’m wrong, I can take it (I can’t).
Outbound Link: The Atlantic literally called 2024 the year of the situationship →
