bring back passion in long-term relationships is the saddest thing i’ve ever googled at 2:47 a.m. while eating cold pizza. jake was snoring. i wasn’t sharing the last slice.
i’m in austin. it’s november but still 78°. texas is drunk. the ac sounds like it smokes. there’s a warm white claw next to lube we forgot we owned. romance peak.
why the passion died (we both sucked)
nine years. we went from bar-bathroom quickies to “babe grab me a hoodie” without looking up. Bring Back Passion i blame netflix and costco chicken. also my 12-pack target granny panties.
i once wore matching lingerie. he asked if we needed toilet paper. i almost filed papers right there.
the cringey stuff that worked
- bought an amazon Bring Back Passion bodysuit that gave me a wedgie for jesus. wore it while making tacos. he dropped an avocado and stared. worth it.
- banned phones in bed. first night we just stared. then laughed until we cried. then clothes disappeared. (screens kill intimacy, says gottman → gottman.com)
- started sending dumb nudes again. mine: Bring Back Passion me in costco holding two peanut-butter jars, captioned “wanna pretzel?” he almost crashed laughing. hotter than any filtered thirst trap.
the target parking-lot fight that fixed us
we screamed next to the cart return. i said he never sees me. he said i treat sex like laundry. he was right. we cried in 95° heat next to a “honk if you love jesus” minivan.
then he whispered “i miss when you bit me.” mood. we went home and bit each other. (playful biting releases endorphins → psychology today)
tiny habits that keep bringing back passion
- driveway makeouts like teenagers
- he wore our 2016 cologne again. i tackled him. smell is powerful → harvard on scent memory
- peeing with the door open (ten years in, it’s weirdly hot)
- saying “i want you” out loud instead of silent resentment
it’s still messy sometimes
some weeks we’re back to sweatpants and silence. Bring Back Passion now we just say “i miss us.” that’s progress.
bringing back passion isn’t a pinterest moodboard. it’s choosing to stay stupid about each other even when life sucks.
drop your dumbest trick in the comments—i need to know i’m not the only disaster.
p.s. cologne. do it tonight. thank me later.
