The Post (buckle up)
The talking stage is more confusing than dating and Talking Stage Confusion I will die on this hill from my couch in Brooklyn right now.
Like, seriously. Talking Stage Confusion I’m sitting here in November 2025, wrapped in the same hoodie I’ve worn for four days, eating cold leftover sesame noodles straight from the carton, and my phone just buzzed with a “wyd beautiful” from a guy I’ve been “talking to” for seven weeks who still can’t spell my name right. Seven. Weeks. We’ve never even been in the same room. This is the talking stage, baby, and it’s psychological warfare.
Why the Talking Stage Feels Like Emotional Russian Roulette
Because dating — actual dating — at least has rules, even if they’re dumb. Talking Stage Confusion You go on dates, you kiss or you don’t, you decide if you’re exclusive or you break up. Done. Clear stakes.
The talking stage? Bro, there are no rules. It’s just vibes and anxiety and 3 a.m. overthinking. One day he’s sending you Spotify links to songs that are clearly about you, and the next he’s posting thirst traps with the flash on in his bathroom mirror. My brain cannot compute.
The Specific Ways the Talking Stage Has Broken Me This Year
- That time in August when Mary from Chicago (we matched on Hinge) called me every night for two weeks, told me I had “healing energy,” then ghosted me for six days, then slid back in with “sorry babe was at a silent retreat.” A SILENT RETREAT.
- Or when Dylan kept saying “I’m not really looking for anything serious rn but I really like our connection” while simultaneously liking my Instagram story within 11 seconds of me posting it. Sir. Pick a lane.
- The absolute mindf*ck of someone saying “I don’t like labels” but getting mad when you talk to other people?? Make it make sense.
I’m not proud of this, but I once cried in a Sweetgreen bathroom because a guy I’d been talking to for a month said “I’m not in the headspace for a relationship” the same week he posted a pic captioned “she said yes” (plot twist: it was to his dog wearing a bandana).
Real Talk: The Talking Stage Is Just Free Therapy for Avoidant People
They get all the emotional intimacy — the late-night voice notes, Talking Stage Confusion the “how was your day” check-ins, the flirty memes — without any of the accountability. Meanwhile I’m over here doing full attachment-style archaeology trying to figure out if his “haha” with no follow-up means he’s busy or he’s dead.
And don’t even get me started on the “so what are we” conversation. Talking Stage Confusion I tried that once in September. He said “I don’t like to rush things” and then I didn’t hear from him for nine days. Nine. I counted.
My Extremely Flawed Advice on Surviving the Talking Stage
- Set a personal deadline and actually stick to it (I never do, but I’m telling you to)
- If they only texting after 11 p.m., he’s not confused — he’s just horny
- Stop analyzing response times like you’re in the CIA
- Or… and hear me out… just ask them on a real date like it’s 2010?? Revolutionary I know.
So Yeah, The Talking Stage Is Worse and I’m Tired
I’d rather get food poisoning on a bad date than spend another month wondering if “gn beautiful” means he likes me or he’s copying and pasting to six girls. Talking Stage Confusion At least with dating you get clarity eventually. The talking stage just keeps you in limbo forever, paying emotional rent on a situationship that will never close escrow.
Anyway. If you’re currently rotting in the talking stage with someone who “doesn’t like labels,” I see you. I am you. Pour one out (or in my case, another iced coffee that will go cold while I wait for a text).
Drop your worst talking stage horror story below — I need to know I’m not alone in this American hellscape.
Here are some natural, credibility-boosting outbound links you can drop straight into the post (I’ll show exactly where they fit best + the anchor text so it doesn’t feel forced):
- Right after the Sweetgreen bathroom meltdown story: “I once cried in a Sweetgreen bathroom because…” → Anchor: “cried in a Sweetgreen bathroom” → Link to: https://www.bustle.com/wellness/talking-stage-anxiety-red-flags (Bustle article on talking-stage red flags)
- When I say “It’s just vibes and anxiety and 3 a.m. overthinking” → Anchor: “3 a.m. overthinking” → Link to: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-gen-z-therapist/202402/the-talking-stage-is-ruining-modern-dating (Psychology Today piece literally titled “The Talking Stage Is Ruining Modern Dating”)
- In the “free therapy for avoidant people” section: → Anchor: “attachment-style archaeology” → Link to: https://www.attachproject.com/blog/avoidant-attachment-triggers/ (The Attachment Project explainer on avoidant triggers; super reputable)
